American soil once again

We surprisingly made it home and with relatively little wear and tear. Some of Jamie's 416 ammo was stolen from our bags at the airport in Jo-burg; but considering how hot it was loaded, the perpetrator will have a surprise when he tries to use it. Normally after shooting you stop to look where the animal went. Whoever uses this ammo, however, will likely result in the cape buffalo looking in the grass and asking his buddies, "Where'd he go?" after the hunter is propelled back into the bush.

Once again acclimating to US standards is difficult. People tend to get anxious when we drive on the wrong side of the road and the police don't appreciate being given $10 or a few bottles of water as a bribe. On the plus side we find it hard to complain about any kind of roadwork or the minor annoyances of our gravel roads.

This has been an amazing, difficult journey. Zimbabwe is a beautiful, special place but it is struggling under the political tension and corruption. We still have a lot to process from everything we saw, experienced and heard. It is a different world to be sure.

I will post some more photo highlights in the coming week so stay tuned!

Why did the American cross the road?

To get to the other side of course.

We were not able to get on our standby flight and our hunting group had already left earlier in the morning for an "elephant meeting" in Botswana so the 3 of us "made a plan" to get ourselves out of Zimbabwe.

So after packing all of our things into the lodge owner's truck, we now called him back and repacked our things into his van and headed back to the lodge, where they thankfully fed these stranded Americans. They arranged a shuttle to take us to the border, where someone from our hunting group was going to meet us. Since they were in Botswana they had to cross the border and then cross it again to where we were going to be (keep in mind that crossing the border here is not like just going into another state).

By God's grace we had a great driver who was interesting and friendly to converse with on our 4 hour journey there. I tried getting in touch with our travel agency (The Travel Advantage in Sioux Center) but keep in mind- we are in Zimbabwe...not a lot of internet action going on here. I used our driver's I-phone to try to connect at every hill top or any kind of town that seemed to have a large population of goats. Piece by piece we were able to connect and try to make a new plan.

Meanwhile his phone starts going dead and needs to get plugged into a laptop. My laptop is almost dead but luckily I have a car charger that I brought along so plug in my computer to plug in his phone. I had my "office" lying on my lap while one side of me was wedged against gun cases that just barely fit in his Land Cruiser and Jamie squished against me on the other side. (Don had the spacious front seat, but we don't need to mention that). I commented that at least we weren't making this journey in the back of a pickup with goats, donkeys and bales of hay.

Along our hilltop and mini town connections we kept in contact with our hunting group. Our driver did not have his passport with him so he could not cross the border. If our group meeting us crossed over to he Zim side they were going to have many issues to deal with (not a good border crossing to enter Zim). Soooo, somehow we were going to make a plan to meet in no man's land in the middle on the bridge of the Limpopo River.

We get to the border and our PH, Danie, drew the short stick and was the designated person to pick us up. He says he's a half hour out and to start the paperwork to get over (Traveling with guns seems to put us in a different category than just traveling with luggage. It's right up there with traveling with fruit.)

We get the approval for us to leave Zimbabwe at the border but now we had to figure out what to do with all of our luggage when we were meeting Danie halfway. Hmmm. As I was typing an email to our travel agent, suddenly I hear yelling, "pack it up...hurry...we have to go now!!!" I look up to see all of our luggage being hurled through the air. When I look to where their destination is I am blinded by the street lights and have no idea what is going on. I hear Jamie yelling for me to hurry up so I trust that he knows what he's doing and start unplugging my computer from his van and from his phone and try putting that away while simultaneously feeling for my passport around my neck and grabbing all of our things from the back seat. When I turned to see where to put all of these things I see we are parked next to a pickup with people I just happen to not know and Jamie sitting on our luggage in the back of this stranger's pickup and Don showing his passport to a customs lady who is throwing a fit for us to hurry (why she wants us to hurry I am not sure). All I hear is the yelling of,"hurry, hurry, hurry!!". I fling myself like a seesaw into the back of this pickup of people unknown to me and again trying to grab for my passport because it appears that this lady really wants to see it. I have one hand on it and I believe some of my extremities were still dangling over the edge and my face at least had a comfortable landing inside my diaper bag that held a travel blanket. Jamie grabs my other hand and the pickup takes off.

When I am fully upright I begin to realize what is going on. With our hair blowing in the breeze and these 2 Zimbabwe guys smiling at us we are sitting on all our now worldly possessions and fleeing to the border like Mexicans. All that was missing was the goats and hay.

At this point all we can do is laugh. With everything that has happened thus far on this trip, we really aren't shocked by much anymore. We make conversation with our new friends that we are now entrusting our lives to not break through the border barriers and take us on another new journey. As it turned out they are importers/exporters- they get goods from SA to take into ZImbabwe, which sometimes includes people in this case.

We get to the SA border across the bridge and know we need to go to the SAPS office to have them do our gun paperwork. Our friends have taken us as far as they can so we are kicked to the curb with our bags under a dimly lit streetlight. Don and Jamie both need to go into the SAPS office so in this case I drew the short straw and had to stay behind to guard 11 pieces of luggage like I was holding movie seats. I stood guard and tried to look as intimidating as possible, though I think I was benefited by the fact that I looked like I was on serious medication for my new hairdo thanks to the pickup ride. Don told me to scream like there's no tomorrow in case of trouble so I also prepared my voice for my debut should it become necessary.

As the first threat appeared (a woman with no bags, while I had 11) approached my way I considered what she might try to go for first and it was then that I noticed my purse handle and stray TP pouring out of my diaper bag. Actually I didn't know which item she'd go for first (you haven't seen the public restrooms here). She eyed my possessions as if choosing which item was the weakest and could easily be conquered through little chase. I spread out my arms in an attempt to enlarge myself as I've seen the animals do, which worked at least for the time being.

Finally the guys came back and now we were just waiting for Danie, our knight in a shining Toyota, to arrive. After a few minutes I noticed another road leading out of the border in another direction and I questioned whether I had correctly understood Danie's instructions on where he would meet us. Without a cell phone we had to make a new plan as to how to get in touch with him. I began scouring the crowd in search of someone who might have a phone (and not harm me for asking) when I spotted a customs lady walking around (I deduced this is who she was by the CUSTOMS emblem on the back of her coat). Surely she would be helpful. I asked to use her phone and she let me know in no uncertain terms that I did not ask properly. I reformulated my request and she then pointed to a payphone.

Okay, so now I just need change for the payphone. I grabbed my purse and headed over to make my purchase. The machine said R.50. I dumped out the contents of all the coins I had on the sidewalk and began scouring them like I was mining for diamonds. This was not as easy as it seems because I had to sort through all my Pula, Rand and US coins to find the winning combination by holding them up to the dim streetlight to examine each diamond's quality and origin.

It is now a good 15 minutes since I realized we might be in the wrong spot and I finally find the right change but then nothing happened when I dialed. Clearly this was not going to work so now we needed yet another new plan. Having gotten wise to how things work in Africa I mentally sorted through the items in my diaper bag for a good candidate for exchange. I had some TP and an apple along with a travel pillow and blanket. The apple was partially bruised and we were now in a serious situation so I pulled out my Ace card...cold hard cash. I offered the woman now sharing our curb $5 to use her cell phone. Ahhhh. Finally we got connected just moments before Danie was going to cross over to Zimbabwe, which would have resulted in a long delay before he was able to get back through again.

Moments later I heard the song chorus "reunited and it feels so good" over our group's loudspeaker as we were able to repack once again all of our worldly possessions (minus $5 and some TP) back into Danie's pickup.

We are now back at the ranch and as far as we are concerned it feels like home. We have made new arrangements thanks to the awesome help from The Travel Advantage. If we are not able to board the plane this time we aren't sure whether we should call our travel agent or a real estate agent. Buying here might be easier than leaving.

Insanity- Africa style

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Is it still insanity if you never get the same results doing the same thing over and over??

It is 9 AM and Team Africa is currently sitting around a table awaiting to find the results of our tests. The test is of our patience. Our flight going to Johannesburg was canceled for this morning so now we are on standby for another flight at 1 PM. If this does not happen we will "make a plan" as we have had to do every hour of this trip.

What is more surprising...that we are dealing with a canceled flight and no friends to speak of to help us or that all of us really aren't surprised at any of this considering everything that has happened? Where can we begin to describe what living here is like? As Americans we are finally losing our will to fight after being here a few weeks. This is a country of no rules and no accountability. Insanity and confusion is just part of living here. The other night at our lodge restaurant we were the first people to come to eat...the restaurant was completely void of patrons (and it is a very large restaurant). So the server asks us how many and then says, "let me see if I can find you a table." We giggled to ourselves but looked at each other bewildered as she took a stroll around the restaurant looking for an empty table. Several minutes later she came back and asked, "how is this?" pointing to the table we were standing next to. This is how every minute of every day is here. You truly feel like you are going crazy after a while.

After our experiences the simple things like using a restroom brings about a whole new list of dangers and concerns. Upon opening the door and hearing the ominous squeak as I slowly and cautiously open it, I can't help but feel like I am a part of a horror movie...you know something very bad is around the corner but you don't know how bad. You hear onlookers scream, "What are you doing??? Don't go in there!!" Around here you don't just ask for a key for the door, you ask for the key for the seat as well.

I would talk about the conclusion of this trip but none of us really know if we are actually at the conclusion or not.  So for now we will just sit around and wait....after all, we're on Africa time!

highlights (so far)

Since we have plenty of time to kill (and there is no gift shop here contrary to one of our PH's, Corne) I will share some trip highlights. Sit back and enjoy the view!






                                                  Hanging out in our hunting camp 

 

Wild dogs that came in by the lapa. These are a rare sighting and they were going to leave too early so the guys used the predator call that Jamie took along and called them back in.

In awe of God's wonders

Today was another day of amazing sights. We went back to Victoria Falls today and took a helicopter flight over the falls. Even though it was right below me it is hard for your eyes to believe what you are seeing in front of you- it is just so surreal. To get some perspective on the falls take a look at the size of the buildings and vehicles off to the right-hand side. It is just unimaginable.

Tonight we took a sunset cruise on the Zambezi River (the river that is part of the falls). Last night I thought I had seen the best African sunset ever but tonight it was even more breathtaking.

Chobe

Today was another awesome day of animal viewing. We all went on a boat cruise this morning and got up close and personal to plenty of wildlife. At one point I was taking photos of hippos on a small island of sorts and as we were pulling away I noticed a croc nearby. I pointed this out to Jamie and he said “well didn’t you see this one?” He pointed to a croc that was sitting a few feet in front of the boat (we were in the front seats). He blended in with his surroundings and was so perfectly still that it is no wonder creatures have bad encounters with them.

I could post plenty of pics of our cruise but I have to sort through the 529 (literally) photos I took today.

The highlight I think for all of us today was seeing a massive herd of elephants and cape buffalo this afternoon while on a second game drive with Danie. Seeing the vast landscape littered with thousands of animals made me immediately think of The Great Migration of wildebeest. This is one small snapshot and about 1/10^th of the panoramic view we came across.

Today was another really great day but now it is time for me to get ready for tomorrow by dreaming about puddy tats and CLOSED car windows!

The rest of the journey...

We have decided to end our hunt a day early and left camp today to head to Victoria Falls. Thankfully we arrived here without incident. Today we toured the Falls and took in the breath-taking scenery. It really is awe-inspiring. Though we have photos, they really does not do it justice. The Falls are known as “the smoke that thunders” and experienced that to be true. Even though it is the dry season now, with late season rains the Falls are producing a thundering roar of water with a mist that can be seen miles away. There is enough continual mist that the entire wall opposite the falls is a rainforest. The lower walk was closed so we just did the upper walk and stopped at each of the 16 observation points. By the time we got to the end of the Zimbabwe section of the Falls (you can also observe them on the Zambia side) we were soaked.  What a tremendous thing God has given us to marvel at!

We then made our way to Chobe Reserve in Botswana (about 1 ½ hrs away). The border crossing was made much more painless without having guns in tow to take along. After another dip and pack experience we were ready for another adventure.

We are super lucky to have Danie to accompany Jamie and I up to this area and be our personal game driver. Self-guided drives are allowed so we could just enjoy all the scenery at our whim. He spots all the animals that are doing their best to hide and knows most anything you’d care to know about them. Another added bonus is that he also knows how close we can get (knowing I am all about the photos) without risk of using that medical travel insurance policy we purchased before leaving. I found I was able to extend to just the right height much of the time by sitting on the open door window. Oddly enough, the Toyota would frequently malfunction and inexplicably lurch forward when I had not yet descended back into the vehicle. I considered positioning myself there permanently by repurposing the seat belts (they are restraints after all) but when we got to the 7 foot wide paths with thorns on each side this location might prove less than pleasant.

Chobe did not disappoint today and all of us were completely overwhelmed with the sheer volume of animals here- specifically in this area of the park that borders the Zambezi River. I don’t think we looked out our window and almost any given time without seeing some kind of wildlife. It was an amazing experience.

Danie predicted that we might see some lions in a particular area and shortly thereafter while driving along the beach-like shore of the river I jumped in my seat as I glanced to see a lioness coming in 30 feet from the vehicle (and my open window). Normally I wouldn’t be so anxious about this (regardless of the distance) since we are in a vehicle but I have been careful about making sure doors are shut and windows are shut a proper amount when we’ve been just sitting in the vehicle waiting. Leopards are “clever” as the PH’s put it and come out of nowhere. We knew there were plenty of kitty cats hiding in the brush while we were hunting based on tracks so I was always mindful of it. It also didn’t help that Jaco was kind enough to show me TV footage of a guy getting attacked by a leopard in his vehicle when they were trying to release it back into the wild. This bad ol’ puddy tat took one leap from the box of the pickup to the partially open pickup window to land midway into the cab to let the driver know what he thought of the ride he had just taken (for the record the guy made it through to tell about it). So a bad ol’ puddy tat leaping into partially open windows was high on my list of possibilities while we were out and about. In the end this lioness was having a good day and just wanted to get by us to get a drink.

We ended our game drive with the setting of the sun and all of us went back to our rooms feeling like it was a pretty awesome day.

Aug 18 9PM

Whatever can go wrong...

Will happen at least twice in any given day on this trip. I don’t believe in bad luck so I will just say that this has been the most “unusual” hunting experience I think any of us have ever had.

Out of the 4 pickups taken to camp, we have had 3 casualties; lions have learned to climb trees and many of the animals have been chased out of the area due to neighboring hunting concessions being highly worked along with the problem of a lion hunt happening nearby which has changed the animals behavior patterns (not in our favor).

I can not begin to tell you all the things that have gone wrong but the most important thing is that (as of now) we are all healthy and well. As far as the hunting goes it has been difficult at best, sabotaged at worse. We all sit, speechless at the end of the day, completely perplexed at the way this hunt has gone. Thankfully speechless doesn’t last long with our group and we shake off the bad tidings of the day around the fire with any laughs we can find. Still, there has been a tension in the air as we wonder what in the world the next day will bring. No one dares say out loud, “It has to go uphill from here because it can’t get any worse than this!”

 

In the spirit of positivism we will not be going home empty handed. Along with our memories thus far we each have a trophy to commemorate the trip.

Africa Etiquette and Procedures- Beginner/Intermediate version

Before using a tree, knock first (this applies to anything living that might already be there)

Whilst hunting, do not give your spare ammo to someone who will be the first to run at the sign of danger

The safety of revealing your currency is in direct proportion to the cleanliness and supply level of the public bathrooms in the area

Don’t turn your back at a watering hole

Walk softly and carry a big stick…and a knife…and a gun

Like your mother said- nothing good happens after dark (because that’s when the goats are harder to see)

Donkeys pay a smaller toll than cars. If someone is riding them the price is the same.

You know you’ve made a good friend when they invite you to their watering hole

No matter how technologically advanced we become, animals still aren’t used to cell phones in the brush

A can of pop cost 3 trillion Zimbabwe dollars. Make sure to wear your cargo pants if you are going out to dinner.

Grateful

Though we’ve been here a short time it is interesting how quickly one learns to adapt to circumstances. What I have constantly been amazed and ashamed of is how ungrateful I really am- a state of mind that seems to have found a permanent place in most of the western world.

As I type this the maid is sweeping the floor with a handmade broom made from grass. I compare this to the literal aisles of cleaning devices we have in the States- each one promising something more than then next to the point that we find it necessary to have multiples to cover any kind of cleaning emergency.

I have just eaten a piece of fruit that would have been severely discounted or possibly thrown away at our local grocery store and yet I was very grateful for it. I do not have the luxury of pouring over the supermarket fruit aisle and rejecting food at whim. In this culture you learn to make due with what you have and not really consider that you are somehow unfortunate. To have bread or maize to eat is no small thing.

Our group shot a warthog by request of the neighboring landowner so that his workers would have meat once again to eat. Upon the presentation of this gift, the excitement over their good fortune was abundantly clear. We put our noses up at a tough, fatty or otherwise “defective” meat feeling that we deserve far better. What makes us deserving? Our very existence? Who are we to be ungrateful to God who has provided us with truly more than we could imagine?

The bread we are eating was made by one of the locals in his own version of an oven. Taking the very basics of ingredients, they scoop out a trough in the sand and then start a fire in it (using matches to ignite it if they are lucky, sticks if they are not). They place a piece of wood over this and when the sand has heated enough, they put out the fire and bake the bread on the board, heated by the surrounding sand. They know nothing of massive, mechanical mixers for stirring and conveyer belts that process and neatly package the bread to go to various supermarkets across the country.  

The bathtub in our room must be wiped down after use to get rid of the sediment and (light) debris that is a part of the water here. We would be horrified to find this kind of setup at any hotel in the States and perhaps our government would be so kind as to shut this kind of place down as a “service” to the people to “protect” us. Yet we are so grateful to have a tub, let alone hot running water. When we acknowledge the kind of conditions here that are a part of everyday life we feel quite privileged.

Being in an area that does not have a Wal-Mart on every corner forces a person to learn to get creative. My nettipot container works nicely to rinse your hair. Dental floss, I found, makes a great string for balloons. Even at that, these are still modern implements and we can never begin to fully appreciate what it is like to live with so little.

I think in the western world we have conditioned ourselves to simply be unhappy with what we have (any advertisement will reinforce this theme). I wish I could state that I will continue this less-is-more feeling when we return home; but sadly I predict that though we will always have memories of this experience, the remembrance of lacking will soon be forgotten in the noise of home.

 

Learn Afrikaans

If any readers out there are thinking about taking a trip to Africa I thought it would be helpful to learn a few key phrases to aid in your traveling experience. Here are some common translations:

Afrikaans: This will only take about 15 minutes

English: This will take at least an hour

Afrikaans: This should take about an hour

English: Pack up a sack lunch and beverage; you’ll likely be here all afternoon

Afrikaans: Let’s discuss this in my office

English: Let’s go behind that tree where I will accept your bribe

Afrikaans: You can’t bring that across the border

English: That looks good to me and I would like that

Afrikaans: what, what, what

English: so on and so forth; as in “we went to his office and what, what, what”

Afrikaans: You’re on Africa time

English: Be patient. I will not work any faster.

Afrikaans: It tastes like beef           

English: It really does taste like beef, sometimes even better

Afrikaans: Hwange (pronounced wanekey)- a game reserve in northern Zimbabwe

English: also a game reserve in northern Zimbabwe; alternately used as an adjective “Upon entering the area the elephants just passed through, the air smelled rather hwange.”

Afrikaans: Enter at your own risk

(This was a trick one…there aren’t any such signs. You need to have common sense to survive- or at least be willing to endure some uncomfortable experiences.)

 

A hunting we will go

Some of you many be wondering about the lack of hunting stories told thus far considering we are mostly on a hunting trip. Well, as of this morning the only success that has been had is a female kudu by Jamie and an impala by Jaco, both for the purposes of bait for leopard.

Yesterday I went with Jamie and his entourage when they put out this bait. It was an interesting procedure that mostly they just told me about. I just stared straight ahead and didn’t feel the need to concern myself too much with the details. When Danie started explaining the details I stopped him and insisted that the only terms that could be used from now on were cinnamon & sugar for one reference and bread for the other. I have much too long a memory when it comes to these things.

It is still unbelievable how many elephants there are here. Last night Jamie and crew were late and we assumed that a leopard had come in but they had to wait for elephants to cross so they could make their way back to the pickup.

Hunting is very different here than in Limpopo (South Africa). There are no fences here so everything is free to move about at will. Paths are the boundary line between properties.

As for me, as far as hunting goes I can report there is a salamander that has provided me with a great deal of daily entertainment. He comes out methodically every morning about the same time. I have named my salamander, Sam. Technically I am not sure he is a salamander- he may be a type of gecko or some other type of lizard. I am so far behind on my reptile certification it isn’t even funny. So I know you’re wondering- if I don’t even know what he is how do I know it is a male? Well, at this point you should remove your children from the room to read on. Now that we are among adults I will tell you that the other morning I saw Sam have a run-in with another salamander and Sam starting doing unspeakable lizard acts right in front of me. He was perhaps trying to impress me with his debonair-like qualities but I was not really impressed. (And for the record she didn’t appear to be impressed with that 7 seconds of her life either.) Sorry Sam. I think he sensed me watching him because soon thereafter he went to the top of the bench and hung on to the edge with one hand for nearly a minute before hoisting the rest of his body in a swing like motion as though he were on the uneven bars at the Olympics. Now-- is it a hand or is it a claw…it certainly isn’t a hoof...what does one call a lizard appendage? Anyhow, I have only gotten one shot of Sam so far hence it has turned into a sport for me to see if I be stealth enough to grab and set my camera fast enough before he notices me and runs away. (For the record I do not do stealth well at all, which is why the boys have not allowed me to come hunting with them and instead I am left behind watching salamanders). It appears I have come all the way to Africa to see if I can outsmart a lizard.

Another frequent sighting around here are baboons. There are times I have hours and hours to pass at camp so lizards and baboons are at least something to fill the time with. I call this one, “I’m sorry to pick on you but there is something about you that is really bugging me”

The sounds of Africa

I would like to allow you to experience Africa with all your senses. Today I will tell you about the sounds. It is blissfully quiet here, allowing you to experience the subtlest of sounds.

Most frequently there are birds singing with an occasional squawk. The songs they sing are different than the songs at home. They are happy songs as they call and respond to each other. Most times you will hear many species at once from all directions. It is a soothing noise.

At times you will hear the clap of flocks of birds leaving at once. Looking in their direction you are sure to see some animal coming their way, for there is nothing other than their boredom to make them leave.

In the mornings you can hear the wind, perhaps at 5 mph- nothing enough to stir up dust of the ground but only enough to hear the rustling of the leaves in the trees.

This morning I am hearing the rthytmic soft thud of balloons as they hit the lapa support beams. Today is my birthday and I welcomed the day with balloons scattered throughout the lapa and part of our living quarters.

At times you will hear the cracking of wood in the distance as elephants make their own road to the location of their choice. Their only limitation of travel or residence is an occasional cliff.

Often you will hear the sound of the workers and their families talking in a language I do not understand but laughing in a language that is familiar. English is the official language in Zimbabwe and most often spoken as we’ve traveled so far but there are still Afrikaans and other tribal languages occasionally heard.

The sound of shuffling footsteps as they glide over the stone and cement is the workers going to and fro with their chores- cleaning the rooms, cleaning the compound and maintaining it. Maintenance is done without any kind of modern implements that we use and do not even consider. Wheelbarrows and grass woven cleaning tools are the norm here. You will often hear the sound of sweeping, not only in our living quarters but even to the sandy perimeter of the compound. We have seen the sweeping of sand many times whilst traveling here- a sight that has been quite curious. After what we’ve been told I wonder if this might be done to reveal evidence if any animals or snakes have been present since the preceding day.

One of the favorite sounds here is the clanging of the stainless steel table service- a sign that the meal is near. At night you will hear the crackling of the fire as it heats the water for the compound.

During the night you will hear many kinds of animals, mostly baboons. Other times you will hear hyenas. Depending on their proximity it is either a soft background noise or loud enough that earplugs are needed in order (for me at least) to be able to sleep.

Perhaps the most favorite sound of all is the sound of a vehicle coming in early- a sign of hunting success. The hum of the diesel engine is heard first and then the chattering between the vehicle occupants and the people at camp.

Where the Wild Things Are...Chapter 2

Today we went for a ride to the nearby Hwange Game Lodge but ended up on an unexpected game drive just getting there. It has been a visual treat to see the unexpected fall-like landscape here that just adds flavor to everything you see.

Once again we had to take the Kalahari-sand road to get to the main road. No matter which way you leave camp, it is necessary to take this kind of road. It is very unusual in Africa to have this kind of landscape of sand amidst such dense brush. I have never seen such dense brush in my life…it is difficult to visualize without seeing it for yourself.

Among our many trips to Yellowstone I’ve often gazed into the distant forests along the steep mountainous ground wondering what one might see should they have opportunity to walk in the middle of this mysterious land. If you were quiet enough surely you would encounter deer, with an occasional elk and possibly a bear. Still, this is only an imagination and one would certainly hope to NOT be put in a situation where they would have circumstances allowing them to uncover the mystery of this untraveled ground. These areas will always be a mystery (unless of course the government decides to run a bulldozer through it and charge admission).

The experience of being here feels like you have been given the unique opportunity to live within such mysterious land. The wildness cannot be described with words. The deafening quietness of only the bugs and birds and the occasional animal tantrum is even more difficult to describe. There is no traffic noises, no running of appliances (there are a few appliances here…just not within ear shot), no phones ringing, not even the hum of street lights…where else can you go to find such stillness? Only when placed in the middle of that mysterious land.

As we made our way on the corrugated sandy road, we bumped along like we were riding a never-ending wake. Again we had to navigate our way around items along the path. Minutes into our ride we came across an elephant- maybe 80 feet from our vehicle. I savored the uniqueness of the experience only to have us come across another elephant that we waited for as we wisely gave him the right away until he decided to leave the path. Then there was a giraffe perhaps 40 feet from our vehicle that we watched as he stared back at us. Still minutes later there was yet another elephant…this one close enough to offer a breath mint to. Johan was driving with me in the front seat and his wife, Ria, in the back. Johan has years of experience as a PH and was not at all concerned about his proximity but Ria and I were rambling various outbursts (all clean I assure you) while pushing our feet on an imaginary gas pedal. It was thrilling, yet terrifying at the same time.

This is the second ellie we came across today (not the closest one). This was taken with my video camera and not the best photo but it is a great memory for us in remembering the road we are frequently traveling to get other places to hunt or sightsee.

It is still hard to get your mind around the fact that these are not zoo or park animals. No trainer is going to yell a command for the animals to sit or behave themselves. We are in their territory and the implications of that are difficult to get your mind around but unimaginable to have the opportunity to experience.  

Aug 8 7 PM

Peaceful: Africa style

Last night after supper we relaxed in the lapa (eating/entertainment structure) and caught up on all things Africa. The conversation was good and the laughs abundant. There is no phone service here (sparse at best) and certainly no Internet service. (If you are reading this it means we went traveling into another area) Considering this isolated atmosphere and knowing we were finally able to stay put for a while and not have to pack up our bags in the morning made winding down easy. Just when we thought it was time to get rest after our long journey of the day, someone spotted a bull elephant that had come in to the watering hole 350 feet from the lapa. We all sat mesmerized- as though he was the first elephant any of us had ever seen. He was alone and just content getting a drink and refreshing himself with water. He moved slowly, having no other commitments any time soon. The air was still with just the faintest breeze hitting your face if you closed your eyes to feel it. The night chill was just settling in. Gazing up we saw a sky full of stars and coming in from the south was a thin sheet of smoke from the trough (donkey as they call it) that heats the water. The smoke stayed suspended and unmoving. It was just thin enough to reveal the sparkling stars it was hanging from. Bringing my eyes back to the main event the lone ellie then covered himself with dust. You could hear him cooing and we wondered what he might be saying. Was he greeting us or was he speaking to the others that were hidden farther back in the bush? Was he checking to see if we were friend or foe? Several times he gave us direct eye contact inquisitively but seemed unconcerned about sharing the landscape with us.

We watched him for a while, savoring the beauty of it all. Just when we thought this moment could not be perfected any more, a shooting star descended like a rainbow over the lone bull’s back. This is why we had to come back to Africa. The experience simply can’t be duplicated anywhere else.

Recalculating…recalculating…recalculating….

Today was a LONG day.  To say things didn’t go as planned would be a severe understatement.  We didn’t make the border crossing last night so we had to stay over in Pandamatenga. Today we were very glad we hadn’t made the crossing last night. Vehicle trouble, well over a hundred miles of “uncivilized” temporary roads during road construction and a litany of other issues would have gotten us to camp near midnight if we were lucky and hadn’t hit a stray warthog, donkey or goat along the way.

I’m not sure if anything could shock or surprise us after the roads we saw today- albeit some of it was quite breathtaking as we drove along and the path that became visible after numerous wildlife cleared the way. Every time I think we have seen the wild it just gets wilder. Navigating around animal carcass that lions left behind, downed trees from elephants (not to mention filling the tires with more ellie poo) are moments we aren’t soon to forget. We are utterly exhausted once again but have seen some remarkable country as well.

Fuel is sparse at places in Zimbabwe but we were lucky enough to restock at our second attempt. I was really getting hungry for some hot food and I noticed another customer coming out of the gas station with what is known as a pie (meat enclosed in a pastry crust). This would hit the spot I thought so I went inside for some sustenance. As I was debating over the beef or sausage option I was given, Jaco (the other PH with Don) came in and said “he wanted to talk to me just now”. Clearly he intended this conversation to happen before placing my order. Once outside he informed me that this was not the sustenance I should be after- it was meat of curious origin and likely not previously refrigerated. (they don’t take much credence into customer complaints after the sale in these parts) I was grateful to have been spared delving into my antibiotic stash so soon into our trip.

 

We got to the camp more than 3 hours late.  Even the once friendly female GPS voice went from telling us she was “recalculating, recalculating, recalculating” to “I’m sorry…too many failed attempts. You are lost and I can’t help you.” Then it started smoking and blew up. We will miss her. Traversing on roads (and I use the term loosely) the GPS didn’t even know were there was another memory not soon to be forgotten (or felt). I told our PH, Danie, to just keep going as fast as he could to make up time and if I had too many bruises on the top of my head I would signal him to slow up a bit.

Just when we were beginning to wonder if we should give up and go back on a plane home, we made it to the camp. Nestled in immensely thick brush was a sight to behold. The winding path turned and the trees opened up to reveal an abandoned train station that was converted into a camp. I will tell you more about the camp later but for now I will close because the dinner bell is chiming and I don’t want to miss the eland stew! A hot meal sounds wonderful. I also want to see if the elephants have come in since they were making their way to our camp just a short time ago.

How many goats does that cost?

Our group is on our way to Zimbabwe. We were keeping a secret from Don for a few days that his PH Jaco was also coming along with us. He was very excited for the great reunion that we had when we got in Thursday night.

We are in a Botswanan gas station and have seen an eyeful today. We managed the border crossing with no problems. Although I was even more nervous after leaving the crossing since it involved taking a NARROW bridge over the Limpopo River to get into Botswana. No rails of any kind, just prayers to keep you on the narrow way.

We went exploring for a few minutes while the PH's took care of the paperwork on the Botswana side. We saw some ellie poo and some down trees. After that and all the other "elephant remains" we saw over the next few hours we realized that we were indeed in elephant country.

After the border it felt like we were in a drive through zoo with all the animals crossing the road. Most often it was goats but sometimes more interesting species made their way in front of us- plenty of kudu, baboons, impala, etc.  We were taken to another place in time seeing all the livestock cross the road along with people riding in donkey driven carts as they picked up water and wood along the way. Goats are used for family’s meat but could also be used for exchange.

We noted that the poor in Botswana appear to fare much better than in South Africa. The houses were more cement rather than rusted, bent tin and there were even windows and curtains in most of the poor houses. Sadly enough it is still quite a step up from the poor areas we have seen in South Africa. I can’t imagine how poor the areas we will see in Zimbabwe, being the poorest off of the three countries.

Several times we had to go through a foot and mouth disease control area which provided an interesting experience. Let’s just say it was a different version of dip and pack. After seeing the “cleansing” area, it was hard to believe that this was actually disinfecting.

We are on our way to the Pandamatenga crossing and are hoping for the best as we cross. We are hoping to make it to the camp yet tonight but it is very dangerous to be on the roads after dark.

Childish behavior

 A quick game drive before supper at Johan’s ranch. This one had a serious attitude problem.

This is what happens when you don’t act fast enough to the command, “DUCK!” while riding in an open jeep.

Feeling like things are up in the air right now…

Upon settling in for the long flight from Atlanta to Johannesburg we heard the Rocky theme come over the intercom followed by multiple passengers doing their conditioning and warmups for the marathon we were beginning. Good stretching and self-affirmations messages (such as: "you can DO this...come on we've been training for this") were seen and heard throughout the cabin.

What exactly does a person do on a 16-hour flight? There are really so many things to do it is really like an amusement park. The obvious answer to entertainment is that one SLEEPS on a flight this long. Let me rephrase…one TRIES to sleep. Now remember that we are in economy so it looks a little different on the back of the plane than the front. It is slightly less comfortable than the king sized bed up front and there is a distinct lack of teddy bears that were handed out (though if more were handed out they would be used as a pillow and not a cuddling device). Let me put it this way- turning backward in the seat so that your rear is pushing up against the seat in front of you while simultaneously shoving your head into the back of your own seat and supporting yourself with a pillow whose thickness is akin to a pair of socks…that my friends is such a comfortable relief that you almost feel like you got upgraded to first class. It is a bonus is you are also getting a back massage from the person in front of you pushing their seat repeatedly against your backside and a full body massage if the person behind you is doing the same to the back of your seat.

While on one of my morning jogs I decided to take along a notebook and pen and as I walked down the aisles I studied the other passengers and took some notes for ideas on how I could better simulate first class. Kind of like going to the restaurant bathroom the long way so that you can walk by everyone else’s plate to help you decide what to order. If you have a buddy whose jogging with you together you can also provide helpful score cards to the other passengers based on two main areas- comfort and creativity. Scorecards are left on the passengers to find when they awake.

Different nationalities and sexes all prove to provide a wealth of ideas, yet there are some common themes you will find. One of the most popular themes I refer to as “detachment”. What this involves is allowing your head to droop to one side until it hits the next object below it, causing such a severe angle that creates the illusion of a detached head from the body. It’s a favorite among chiropractic circles. Another slight less popular theme is the “DOA”. To pull this one off you use your travel blanket to completely cover your body head to toe; then bring your hands in to your sides and stare straight ahead. Another version of this is one of my personal favorites and used most frequently. This style sends the message “they haven’t found me yet”. Rather than covering yourself with the blanket you instead bring down your seat tray and slump over it, smashing your face into the tray (though this is risky if you've just had airplane food- they are likely to give you medical attention). All in all I feel pretty proud of myself because I frequently hear “good one” from other morning joggers as they come by my seat.

Twice now I have gone to the only uninhabited area in the plane to stretch and have leaned up against something that felt very cold. Upon further investigation I found the source of the chill was a long handle with a placard next to it that reads, “to open emergency exit push this handle”. I’m grateful that I didn’t step outside for some fresh air.