Why did the American cross the road?

To get to the other side of course.

We were not able to get on our standby flight and our hunting group had already left earlier in the morning for an "elephant meeting" in Botswana so the 3 of us "made a plan" to get ourselves out of Zimbabwe.

So after packing all of our things into the lodge owner's truck, we now called him back and repacked our things into his van and headed back to the lodge, where they thankfully fed these stranded Americans. They arranged a shuttle to take us to the border, where someone from our hunting group was going to meet us. Since they were in Botswana they had to cross the border and then cross it again to where we were going to be (keep in mind that crossing the border here is not like just going into another state).

By God's grace we had a great driver who was interesting and friendly to converse with on our 4 hour journey there. I tried getting in touch with our travel agency (The Travel Advantage in Sioux Center) but keep in mind- we are in Zimbabwe...not a lot of internet action going on here. I used our driver's I-phone to try to connect at every hill top or any kind of town that seemed to have a large population of goats. Piece by piece we were able to connect and try to make a new plan.

Meanwhile his phone starts going dead and needs to get plugged into a laptop. My laptop is almost dead but luckily I have a car charger that I brought along so plug in my computer to plug in his phone. I had my "office" lying on my lap while one side of me was wedged against gun cases that just barely fit in his Land Cruiser and Jamie squished against me on the other side. (Don had the spacious front seat, but we don't need to mention that). I commented that at least we weren't making this journey in the back of a pickup with goats, donkeys and bales of hay.

Along our hilltop and mini town connections we kept in contact with our hunting group. Our driver did not have his passport with him so he could not cross the border. If our group meeting us crossed over to he Zim side they were going to have many issues to deal with (not a good border crossing to enter Zim). Soooo, somehow we were going to make a plan to meet in no man's land in the middle on the bridge of the Limpopo River.

We get to the border and our PH, Danie, drew the short stick and was the designated person to pick us up. He says he's a half hour out and to start the paperwork to get over (Traveling with guns seems to put us in a different category than just traveling with luggage. It's right up there with traveling with fruit.)

We get the approval for us to leave Zimbabwe at the border but now we had to figure out what to do with all of our luggage when we were meeting Danie halfway. Hmmm. As I was typing an email to our travel agent, suddenly I hear yelling, "pack it up...hurry...we have to go now!!!" I look up to see all of our luggage being hurled through the air. When I look to where their destination is I am blinded by the street lights and have no idea what is going on. I hear Jamie yelling for me to hurry up so I trust that he knows what he's doing and start unplugging my computer from his van and from his phone and try putting that away while simultaneously feeling for my passport around my neck and grabbing all of our things from the back seat. When I turned to see where to put all of these things I see we are parked next to a pickup with people I just happen to not know and Jamie sitting on our luggage in the back of this stranger's pickup and Don showing his passport to a customs lady who is throwing a fit for us to hurry (why she wants us to hurry I am not sure). All I hear is the yelling of,"hurry, hurry, hurry!!". I fling myself like a seesaw into the back of this pickup of people unknown to me and again trying to grab for my passport because it appears that this lady really wants to see it. I have one hand on it and I believe some of my extremities were still dangling over the edge and my face at least had a comfortable landing inside my diaper bag that held a travel blanket. Jamie grabs my other hand and the pickup takes off.

When I am fully upright I begin to realize what is going on. With our hair blowing in the breeze and these 2 Zimbabwe guys smiling at us we are sitting on all our now worldly possessions and fleeing to the border like Mexicans. All that was missing was the goats and hay.

At this point all we can do is laugh. With everything that has happened thus far on this trip, we really aren't shocked by much anymore. We make conversation with our new friends that we are now entrusting our lives to not break through the border barriers and take us on another new journey. As it turned out they are importers/exporters- they get goods from SA to take into ZImbabwe, which sometimes includes people in this case.

We get to the SA border across the bridge and know we need to go to the SAPS office to have them do our gun paperwork. Our friends have taken us as far as they can so we are kicked to the curb with our bags under a dimly lit streetlight. Don and Jamie both need to go into the SAPS office so in this case I drew the short straw and had to stay behind to guard 11 pieces of luggage like I was holding movie seats. I stood guard and tried to look as intimidating as possible, though I think I was benefited by the fact that I looked like I was on serious medication for my new hairdo thanks to the pickup ride. Don told me to scream like there's no tomorrow in case of trouble so I also prepared my voice for my debut should it become necessary.

As the first threat appeared (a woman with no bags, while I had 11) approached my way I considered what she might try to go for first and it was then that I noticed my purse handle and stray TP pouring out of my diaper bag. Actually I didn't know which item she'd go for first (you haven't seen the public restrooms here). She eyed my possessions as if choosing which item was the weakest and could easily be conquered through little chase. I spread out my arms in an attempt to enlarge myself as I've seen the animals do, which worked at least for the time being.

Finally the guys came back and now we were just waiting for Danie, our knight in a shining Toyota, to arrive. After a few minutes I noticed another road leading out of the border in another direction and I questioned whether I had correctly understood Danie's instructions on where he would meet us. Without a cell phone we had to make a new plan as to how to get in touch with him. I began scouring the crowd in search of someone who might have a phone (and not harm me for asking) when I spotted a customs lady walking around (I deduced this is who she was by the CUSTOMS emblem on the back of her coat). Surely she would be helpful. I asked to use her phone and she let me know in no uncertain terms that I did not ask properly. I reformulated my request and she then pointed to a payphone.

Okay, so now I just need change for the payphone. I grabbed my purse and headed over to make my purchase. The machine said R.50. I dumped out the contents of all the coins I had on the sidewalk and began scouring them like I was mining for diamonds. This was not as easy as it seems because I had to sort through all my Pula, Rand and US coins to find the winning combination by holding them up to the dim streetlight to examine each diamond's quality and origin.

It is now a good 15 minutes since I realized we might be in the wrong spot and I finally find the right change but then nothing happened when I dialed. Clearly this was not going to work so now we needed yet another new plan. Having gotten wise to how things work in Africa I mentally sorted through the items in my diaper bag for a good candidate for exchange. I had some TP and an apple along with a travel pillow and blanket. The apple was partially bruised and we were now in a serious situation so I pulled out my Ace card...cold hard cash. I offered the woman now sharing our curb $5 to use her cell phone. Ahhhh. Finally we got connected just moments before Danie was going to cross over to Zimbabwe, which would have resulted in a long delay before he was able to get back through again.

Moments later I heard the song chorus "reunited and it feels so good" over our group's loudspeaker as we were able to repack once again all of our worldly possessions (minus $5 and some TP) back into Danie's pickup.

We are now back at the ranch and as far as we are concerned it feels like home. We have made new arrangements thanks to the awesome help from The Travel Advantage. If we are not able to board the plane this time we aren't sure whether we should call our travel agent or a real estate agent. Buying here might be easier than leaving.